Lucky Break

Camille's bruised handThe universe whispered in my ear the other day while my head was buzzing from pain. “Don’t be so heavy handed” she hissed, with her hand on her hip. “And while you’re at it, maybe you ought to think about slowing down.”

It was one of those beautiful winter days, uncharacteristically warm but with enough bite in the air to make the horses dance along the trails. It was our first ride after the end of hunting season and we were feeling free to roam the woods at will.

Everyone but Sharon’s Mingo was acting up. I was riding Peg’s Hailey and she was uncharacteristically antsy. Hailey kept telling me I’d picked the wrong day to try and call the shots. I continued to push my luck, reining her back when she’d break into a trot or canter, asking her to make circles when she threatened to buck. Peg and Simon were having similar conversations as were Barbara and Joker.

Two hours into our ride, Barbara rode up alongside us and without any warning, Hailey kicked at Joker. I felt the kick, we all heard the crack of hoof on bone and I instantly smacked her. With my fist. It all happened so fast that it wasn’t clear whether it was poor judgment or poor aim that caused my fist to connect with the bone of her head.

As it turned out, Hailey had missed Joker and hit Barbara’s shin but luckily didn’t break her leg. At this point, we decided to turn back and ride the last hour to Peg’s place. Peg fetched two bags of ice from her freezer and Sharon used a roll of vet wrap to secure one against Barbara’s leg and the other around my hand. We hugged goodbyes and drove off.

A couple of days later I wrote Peg an apology for hitting Hailey in the head. I felt bad, not because my hand still hurt like hell or because I was afraid I’d hurt her horse, but because hitting a horse in the head is really bad form.

I was hoping that I really meant to punch her in the neck and she turned her head but that seemed unlikely. I wanted to think I was simply disciplining her without any anger but that probably wasn’t the case, either.

Brawler's FractureNo one thought I’d broken my hand. Sure it was swollen and bruised but I could still wiggle my fingers. After two weeks of ice and ibuprofen I decided to get an x-ray taken.

Up to now, the fear of having to spend a lot of money as an uninsured patient had kept me from going to a doctor. But after two weeks, my hand was still multi-colored and painfully swollen. I’ve broken enough bones over the years to know what it feels like and this felt more like the ache of bone than bruising. I needed to know whether I should be using the hand or babying it.

My brother Michael tipped me off  that chiropractors have x-ray machines so I made an appointment with Dr. Jacqulyn Nygren, an angel of a woman who hummed while she worked and put me at ease immediately. She examined my hand and said she didn’t think it was broken, took two x-rays and went to develop them.

When she returned, she had a smile on her face. “Well, you broke it” she said. Dr. Nygren told me that this particular break is often referred to as a bar room fracture or brawler’s fracture because it is the sign of an inexperienced boxer to land a pinky-first punch.

After only two weeks, the bone was already heavily calcified, thanks to the high calcium content in our well water. The same reason Peg and many other Chatham County residents suffer from kidney stones, I might add. From what I’ve read, the bone should be totally healed in 6 to 12 weeks -  sometime between Valentine’s Day and April Fools day.

It was too late for a cast and we don’t have the kind of money it would take to have the hand re-broken and reset anyhow. The good doctor worked the bones as best she could, pulling the fingers straight and smoothing everything out. I won’t say it didn’t hurt but that evening after icing my hand felt the best it had in weeks. It appears the bone suffered only minor angulation. Not enough to impede functionality but I may live with a permanent bump on my hand to remind me not to punch horses in the head.

There is good news here. This break represents an opportunity for change. With my right hand in the air most of the time, I’ve had to slow my day down to three quarter time. While I’ve vowed in the past to slow down, this time I don’t have much of a choice. Meanwhile, I’m getting loads of practice in asking for help and standing back while younger backs do the heavy lifting.

I’ve noticed that as I slow down,  I’m more tolerant of others. As I ask less of myself, I find I’ve lowered the bar for those around me. I’m beginning to see that everything will get done, especially if I take on less. My new mantra is “they will work it out themselves” when I see problems I would otherwise rush in to fix. Running the world is not my responsibility. Keeping my own world intact is.

As frightened as I am that my hand will never look or behave the same as it once did, I consider this a lucky break. The message is clear. I can hear it now – that insistent voice urging me to lighten up and slow down.

Good News

With the world population of humans fast approaching an unsustainable 7 billion, it is heartening to read that in Brazil, the birth rate has fallen from 6.15 children per woman in 1960 to less than 1.9 today!

Sources:

Washington Post “Birth rate plummets in Brazil”
World Population Estimate  6,989,856,903

Biafra,1969

“Live simply so others may simply live.” - Mother Teresa

Another Mashed Potato Meal

Pretty much every Sunday we eat some version of this meal for dinner. Mashed potatoes, golden gravy, a fresh vegetable and some kind of protein.

Mashed Potato Sunday

Braised chard and turnip greens, pan fried quorn (vegetarian) patty, mashed potatoes and golden gravy

It’s been awhile since we’ve made tempeh or seitan cutlets so we’ve been cheating with processed foods. Mostly because Bob has been working 50 hours a week between his full time job and his volunteer work at Chatham Marketplace.

Quorn chick’n patties are delicous but made of  mycoprotien and egg whites and a pinch of whey protein concentrate and buttermilk powder. So, they are not hardly vegan and we’ll be looking into vegan patties next trip to the store. As well as looking for time to make some breaded cutlets!

Bliss Bits

Jenny crossing Robeson CreekHappiness generally comes in tiny packages, sometimes so tiny that it’s easy to miss if you aren’t paying attention. And because I made a resolution to “Find the joy, lose the beleaguered attitude,” I need to make sure I’m not looking the other way when the bluebird of happiness flies by.

One easy way to fine tune my bliss meter is this – Every night before I fall asleep, I mine my day for bliss nuggets. This leaves me a feeling of appreciation for the joys of the day and sharpens my bliss sensors for the following day.

The variety of gems which fall out of this exercise is fascinating:

  • Pink panther oboe notes, signaling a call from Bob
  • Laying flat on the floor with my arms over my head
  • Tami’s happy, smiling “hello”
  • My palms against the smooth bark of a beech tree
  • Jenny wading barefoot across the icy waters of Robeson Creek
  • A warm smile on a stranger’s face at the post office
  • Bright red cardinals against the background of a gray day
  • Haruka’s easy, musical laugh
  • Running into family at the Marketplace
  • One of Link’s soul-enriching hugs
  • NPR sound byte: “In capitalism there are some winners and some losers. And it’s unfortunate, but that’s how our system works.”
  • Walking around town, car less and carefree
  • Sitting on Hailey, taking in the view from Round Top Mountain
  • Playing Beck’s “Loser”
  • Vegan Tettrazini and Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Breakfast of Champeens

Here we go again! – Twigs and berries for breakfast…

Breakfast of Champeens

Check out this Saturday morning breakfast of champeens that Bob whipped up. Tofu Scramble with sauteed onion and garlic, nutritional yeast and tofutti sour cream, crispy fried potatoes, ketchup and pan fried vegan pepperoni.

Poor little vegans.

New Beginnings – 2012 Predictions and Resolutions

Well, here we are, eleven hours into 2012 and Bob and I have already eaten a bowl of black-eyed peas to ensure prosperity throughout the coming year.

If I could twinkle my nose and make it so, 2012 would be the year when humanity wakes up and becomes more humane. The war industry would come to a grinding halt, the rich would give to the poor, corporations would release their death grip on our economy and personal greed would evaporate like a bad dream.

The predictions being bandied about with family and friends are mixed between optimism, pessimism and political speculation. We discussed the danger of manifesting bad juju by casting dire predictions, but I decided to include both the positive and the negative as a matter of record.

2012  Predictions

Increased violence surrounding the Occupy Movement
The people will prevail and succeed in changing the balance of power
The United States will go to war with Iran
Things in Syria will get even messier before getting better
The world will not end when the Mayan calendar runs out, but rather there will be a new beginning
Barak Obama will choose Hillary Clinton as his running mate

2012 Resolutions

On a personal level, I have resolutions, my personal wish list for self-improvement. It’s been a few years since I pulled off a formal list but this year I feel inspired. Here’s what I’ve been chewing on:

Attitude
Find the joy, lose the beleaguered attitude
Generously give approval and support

Communication
Listen to what others are saying without thinking about what I want to say next
Think about what information others may need or want to know and make a point of informing them
Don’t share caustic and potentially offensive opinions

Health
More eating to live, less living to eat
Alleviate stress with activity rather than food
Drink more water
Drop five pounds by May 1st by simply avoiding snacks, sweets and second helpings

Time Management
Get there on time
Set a departure time that more than allows for last minute delays
Stop thinking I have time for just one more thing
Schedule time in my day for having fun

So there you have it. A mélange of hopes, fears, dreams and resolve to kick off a new beginning for 2012!

Christmas Dinner

Another Vegan meal of twigs and berries. This time, in honor of Christmas and shared with Jason and Haruka:

Christmas Dinner

Roasted tofurky and root vegetables, mashed potatoes, golden gravy and the ubiquitous greens. This time of year we eat greens at every meal.

Death of Oilseed

Bulldozer

What we thought would happen

This may be the last time I write about Oilseed Community. For years we thought Oilseed would die when the bulldozers came but that isn’t what happened.

In 2001, when the original lease was negotiated, it opened up much-needed affordable housing and provided a revenue stream to support the broader community we call the Bubble. Since then, Oilseed Community has been home to college students, farm and fuel interns, and people who worked at The Abundance Foundation, Piedmont Biofuels and Chatham Marketplace. Oilseed provided a soft landing portal into the Bubble.

Abandoned houses on land awaiting development became community housing and revenue. It was a triple win. The developer was happy. The tenants were happy. And the Bubble flourished.

Bob and I moved to Oilseed in November of 2007 after approval by the community. Because Oilseed was more about community than cheap rooms, we were screened like everyone else. We were very grateful to move into the trailer, which we cleaned up and renamed “Camelina.” On many an afternoon, it wasn’t unusual to open our door to find see either Matt or Greg and the fresh, new face of a prospective tenant.

During the two years we lived in Camelina, we formed lasting friendships with many wonderful people including Simon and Jessica, Link, Matt, Dana, Greg, Kathryn, Jack and Adah. Revenue from Oilseed rents fueled the bubble, helping pay for Biofuels Coop remediation projects and helping Lyle and Tami keep their many philanthropic projects afloat.

None of the original tenants live at Oilseed today. We bought Trouts Farm. Greg moved to Michigan. Simon and Jessica bought a home in Durham, Link in Siler City, Matt in Bynum. We all fledged.

Although we know many of the new Oilseeders, I have yet to meet them all. Most of them are snugly plugged into the bubble. But sadly, the Oilseed revenue stream that used to benefit the bubble is over, dammed up by the tenants themselves. In a bold move, the new crop of Oilseeders re-negotiated their lease with the developers.

When I first heard about this, I assumed they had discussed their intentions with the current lease holders. Given that assumption, I accepted that they were taking their destiny into their own hands. Empowering themselves.

It sounded like a positive move except for the part about removing all financial support from the bubble. Making payments instead to the developer when they weren’t asking for money seemed like a waste. But hey, if this was the new direction of Oilseed, who was I to protest?

Come to find out, no one knew except for the tenants themselves. It was a surprise to everyone else. The bold move began looking more like a mutiny.

We all assumed Oilseed would die at the hands of the bulldozers one day. None of us could have guessed it would have come at the hands of the community itself.

Continue reading Death of Oilseed

The Usual Fare

Poor Little Vegetarians!

Here’s what we had to eat tonight: twigs and berries.

Rice, Greens and Quorn Patties

Jason and Haruka’s incredibly sweet and nutty Koshihikari rice, freshly harvested greens with radicchio from Matt and Jenn’s Dickinson College Farm, pan-fried quorm “chicken” patties topped with Mae Ploy sweet chili sauce. The only things keeping this meal from being vegan is the rehydrated egg white, whey protein concentrate and buttermilk powder in the quorn patties.

Shrinking our Footprint

I’ve been happily making the smaller ecological footprint of a vegetarian lifestyle for about ten years now and it was only a matter of time before I felt inspired to shrink that footprint further.

I’ve received many little nudges over the years, from Woody Harrelson’s 2003 movie, “Go Further” to recently released “Forks over Knives.” Lately, I’ve been admiring Jenny’s raw food choices when we eat lunch at the office and daughter Amy has been sharing gleanings from the Natural Chef program at Central Carolina Community College. But it was a series of conference workshops that supplied the push I needed to try on a smaller sized shoe.

CFSA Conference

Amy, Bob and Eric share a moment at the conference.

Bob and I attended Carolina Farm Stewardship Association’s 26th annual Sustainable Agriculture Conference for the first time a couple of weekends ago. For years, we’d been hearing about the incredible local food movement synergy radiating from the conference. This year, the conference was being held in Durham so we decided to go.

We found the conference as exhilarating as advertised. Most of our friends and local food movement heroes were there; Jason and Haruka, Lyle and Tami, Jenny, Jennie, Kate, Carol, Stevie, Jessie, Tess, Hillary, John, Don, Jane, Jonah, Tasha, Anna, Adam, Betsy, Linda Watson, Eric Henry, Doug Jones. Two great days of hi’s, hugs and networking!

The workshop choices were impressive. So much so that the topic in the halls was usually, “Which workshop are you going to next?” and “Oh! I’d really like to go to ‘Fun with Mushrooms’ but I also wanted to catch Tony Cleese’s workshop”

Ultimately, I chose five out of fifty-six workshops and traded workshop highlights with friends during breaks and meals. I picked:

  • Rob Bowers’ “Commercial Fruit Production”
  • Will Hooker’s “Permaculture: A Sustainable Living Methodology for the Home, Garden and Community”
  • Zev Friedman’s “The Forest Cuisine Project: Permaculture Farming for a Living”
  • “Update on the Organic Bread Flour Project” panel with the local organic grains grower, miller, malter, brewer and baker
  • Jason and Haruka Oatis’ “Growing Rice in North Carolina”

Now, this may all sound like rather dry material but I’m here to report that what happened was pure magic! My eyes were opened wider than I thought possible and I actually heard angels sing during some of the presentations. Seriously.

Haruka and I kept catching each others eyes and squeezing our hands during Will Hooker’s Urban Permaculture workshop. He told the inspiring story of how he and his wife transformed a tiny urban home and yard into a haven, playground, and food producing garden with fish pond, gazebo, arbors and more. Ditto with Jason’s wonderfully entertaining story of how he and Haruka were inspired by Japanese farmer and philosopher Masanobu Fukuoka’s to grow organic rice using the natural farming method.

Bob and I found the panel on Organic Bread Flour sobering. I had no idea how much work went into the growing and processing of grain and it made me question my flour-dependent footprint.

This is the same epiphany I had when I realized how many pounds of grain go into producing a pound of beef. I now realize how many man hours go into producing a pound of grain and how many more into a pound of flour! Surely, I can’t need that much flour to satisfy my protein and carbohydrate needs? Especially when much of what I bake with is unbleached bread flour, which by definition has had the protein milled out! Better I meet my nutritional needs with sweet potatoes and chick peas which I love every bit as much as seitan sandwiches.

And then there was permaculturist Zev Friedman, self-admitted wild food vagabond, who introduced me to the concept of an interconnected food web. He suggested we cultivate food groups that work together, observe and replicate natural patterns, and learn to harvest the bounty that already exists. Zev pointed out that Monsanto will never be able to patent all the seeds in the forests, making yet another case for reducing our dependency on corn, wheat and soy.

Walking AwayI love the way all of this information neatly ties in with the Occupy Wall Street movement. Just walking away from the established methods of food production and distribution absolutely requires we change the way we eat. We need to rethink our food patterns and learn to work with nature. We need to learn more ways to do for ourselves and decrease our dependency on the big corporations.

It occurred to me that our culture is at the same pivotal point as the Mayan culture was at the end of their empire. It isn’t a mystery what happened to this vibrant civilization that lay buried for centuries deep in the rain forests of Central America.

When population and resource demand got too unwieldy, the Mayans increasingly found themselves unable to weather drought and other natural threats to their corn crop. Those at the top continued to eat well while making heads roll down the sides of their pyramids. Many of the rest stuck around, hoping things would get better, too afraid of the unknown to leave civilization as they knew it.

And some of the Mayan people simply walked off into the jungle and created a new way of life. These were likely the ancestors of the resourceful and confident Mayans we worked with in Belize. Rolando and Nikki and their families knew how to get virtually everything they needed from the forests, from building materials, to medicine, to food.

As Bob and I walk away from the ambient culture, our footprints continue to shrink. Changes are already becoming apparent in our home menus. One step at a time, I am steering food choices towards whole and raw foods, choosing rice over pasta, salad over sauté’s, fruit over juice and chick pea patties over bread. Smaller footprint, here we come!