Here are my goals for the year ahead:

This year, I will scroll past gloomy headlines. I don’t need to know the blow-by-blows of political bickering, climate disaster, or armed conflict.

This year, I will greet strangers with a smile even when I don’t feel like smiling.

This year, I will acknowledge my feelings and take a moment before acting on them.

This year, I will continue doing things I think need to do for myself, my loved ones, and the planet, but I’ll try not to overdo it.

This year, I will accept myself and others as we are: whole and complete and doing our darndest.

I don’t think I can top that.

Am I perfect? No. I could stand to lose a few tendencies, shed a few pounds, and develop better focus. I’m not always kind or patient and I still have trouble listening. But I am really good at following rules.

At 66, I am at an odd nexus in my personal development: hyper-aware of my strengths and weaknesses and yet irrationally rebellious. Therefore, I’m going easy on myself. Besides, I can already see that this year will be challenging enough. No point in making it harder.

So, here’s my list:

• Continue doing my best.
• Resist triggers.
• Care for others without neglecting myself.
• Draw a little more and eat a little less.

My 2021 intentions are no more than tweaks — vague, unruly goals with no measurable outputs. I’d like to finish the year as a thinner, slightly more independent version of my dutiful, opinionated, frugal, self-contained, and quasi-creative self. Heck, I just want to finish out the year!

In one of Gretchen Rubin’s books, she mentions a woman who completely empties her refrigerator on the first day of the year. No exceptions. Out goes last year capers and ketchup, and all those jars of jelly drabs. No more leftovers, bread, lettuce, or butter.

I love fresh starts, but all those years in The Clean Plate Club, using bread heels to wipe the last bit of stew from my little green bowl, make it impossible for me to waste food to prove a point.

Since moving to the south, Hoppin’ John has become our chosen first meal of the new year. Eat Poor for a Day, Prosper in the New Year, as the saying goes. Rice for riches, peas for peace. This year I made the dish with heirloom Yellow Eye beans from Purcell Mountain Farms, Amy’s delicious hand-harvested wild rice, and collard greens from our backyard garden.

Another way to step forward into this new year is to get out in the woods with my neighbors. Today we’ll define and widen a connector trail that completes a loop around the perimeter of Tami and Lyle’s ample property. Lyle will deploy his tractor. I’ll bring loppers and gloves, and we’ll spend three hours bonding outdoors before walking to their big-windowed home, glowing and spent, for a shared meal.

To round out the day, I’m going to put in writing my intentions, something I do every year, even the non-decade starting ones. A lot of people think resolutions are too constraining, or that they exert pressure where pressure need not be. But drill down, and I usually find that they do have goals, only they don’t want to call them resolutions. Fair enough.

Call it resolutions, intentions, hopes, dreams, or goals, here is my vision for the year ahead:

2020 will be my Year of Anonymity. I will use this year to further retreat from my outward-facing persona and into my inner landscape.

Since retiring in 2019, I have already stepped away from many outside obligations. I’m no longer interested in trying to be someone on social media or in representing anything beyond my little life here with Bob. In 2020 I plan on dwelling in a non-virtual world of my choosing, close to home, focused on polishing a close-to-the-bone, high-quality lifestyle.

As Bob toils away, strapped to his desk in one last, mind-numbing push to feather our retirement nest, I bustle about, growing and cooking real meals, and fluffing pillows. I spend hours deep-diving The New York Times and The Atlantic, gathering fuel for insightful porch-sitting and dam-walking conversations.

Towards those ends, here is my shortlist of 2020 Resolutions:

Daily Sentence, in which I challenge myself to write one stellar sentence describing an event that stands out in my mind from that day.

Analog Sunday, in which I challenge myself to pull out my sketch pad and create something during a day-long browser hiatus.

All the other stuff — the reading list, weight goals, push-ups — none of these need to be pinned down, regulated, managed, or recorded. I’m past that, beyond having to hold myself accountable. 2020 may not just be my year of anonymity; it might kick off a decade of rebellion. I’ll begin by opting out and see where that leads.

May you enjoy a prosperous and self-affirming year, also!

My personal garden, the traits and habits I cultivate with intention, will also look a lot like last year. Although I have to admit I was tempted to skip making resolutions after reading an article about the down side of striving for perfection. The people we compare ourselves to, those who have made it to the holy grail of success, sometimes surprise us by ending up dead by their own hand. At some point we need to reach complacent self-acceptance. But then I listened to a podcast that recommended we trust ourselves to know which aspects of our lives were good enough and which ones need work. There is nothing wrong with coasting and likewise, nothing wrong with stepping on the gas.

When I asked Bob if he will set some goals this year he said he is always working on something and that January has no more significance than any other month. “Every day is a new year if you’re Bob; every day is your birthday, every day is Christmas,” he said. A banner above the shop floor of a manufacturing company we both worked at flashed into my mind. The banner read, “Continuous Improvement,” which is a good approach to both life and gardening.

But I love the clean-slate feel of a new year. I like the idea of a hard stop with its opportunity to look back, take a reckoning, and re-calibrate. So I will take a few moments to do both.

2019’s theme is “Quality over Quantity” and my goals are:

Reading – Slow down, read for fun, comprehension, and retention.

Conversation – Again, slow down, pay attention, damp down my inner dialogue and absorb what others are saying.

Writing – Slow down, write for fun, play with ideas in my journals, and write at least one old fashioned letter per month.

Sweets – Ramp up the savory with new pot pie recipes while damping down the sweets. All those sugar bombs are not doing me one bit of good. Sure, there will be cookies in the chest freezer, but those are there to make my life easier, not sicker. And it isn’t just the cookies; it’s the chocolate and other candy treats I drag home from the grocery store. The added benefit of my “Pot Pie of the Month” plan will be an increase in my pie dough expertise.

My self-improvement theme for 2018 was “Focus” and my goals were:

Bake more cookies – success!
I baked nearly a thousand cookies last year! I learned to keep the freezer stocked with grab-and-go goodness, turning cookies into my new go-to potluck offering. No more scratching my head over what to bring, life is simpler with cookies in the chest freezer.

Focus on the good – success!
Because my job as property manager required I focus on problems a.k.a. things that aren’t working, I hung up my hat and found a less-demanding job, one in which I didn’t have to be in charge.

Focus on my friends – success!
I shrunk my circle of friends to a dense core, and found I had more time for family during a challenging year.

Mind my own business – success!
I didn’t even have to work at this one. I naturally lost interest in other people’s problems after the employment change and social focusing. Less drama meant more solitary time, and more energy for my life with Bob.

Reading List – success!
I read thirty-four books, exceeding my goal of twenty-five and more than doubling the fifteen books I read in 2017.

Snitch Pad – success!
I now travel with a notebook where I jot down ideas and interesting catch phrases that I can turn to when I need writing inspiration.

Submissions – some improvement!
I submitted eighteen essays, missing my goal of twenty-four submissions, but exceeding 2017’s eleven. I also got better at teeing up the next project after turning in a story, but I had a lot of trouble launching into writing mode.

And there you have it, my goals for 2019 and a reckoning of last year’s intentions. For me, happiness is both acceptance of where I am now, a settling in with comfortable habits that work, and the challenge of reaching towards a better me. It takes wisdom to know which aspects of my life qualify for status quo and which need a little more work. This year I choose to take my foot off the gas, savor the good life, and harvest the rewards.

I got a taste of tunnel vision in the last quarter of 2017. Up against a self-imposed Christmas deadline, I was able to ignore distractions and finish editing my mother’s memoir. Now that I know it can be done, I’d like to keep that momentum.

To support my writing habit, I plan on submitting two essays for publication a month, double last year’s goal and I’m off to a good start. I’ve submitted two essays already this month, and gotten my guest blog about a Mayan wedding published on Pink Pangea.

A good writer reads, so I’ve doubled the number of books on my reading list. This month I finished reading “The Hidden Life of Trees” and have begun reading Howard Zinn’s “A People’s History of the United States.” For fun, I’m reading Martha Conway’s “The Underground River.” Martha is Maggie’s sister, and Maggie is married to my cousin Brian. I highly recommend this book, especially if you like the notion of a floating theater, are curious about how slaves found their way to freedom in the 1830’s, or are handy with a sewing machine.

I’ve also started a “Snitch Pad,” a notebook I carry with me for jotting down thoughts and observations. I got this idea from “Steal Like an Artist”, a nifty little book that Shelley lent me. If you are looking for ways to boost your creativity, this book is a must.

As for friends, well, I’m fortunate to have a lot of great friends and oodles of opportunities for fun. But, if I’m going to do more reading and writing, I need to get choosy about what makes it to my calendar. This year, I’m focusing on quality over quantity.

Last, but not least: cookies. My Nana’s pet name for me was Cookie, and she baked the most incredible chocolate chip cookies. Ask any one of my brothers or cousins. To honor both my nickname, and Nana’s legacy, Cookies will be my new go-to potluck and party dish in 2018. No more fretting over what to bring, or how to keep it warm, or cold, or whatever. Cookies are easy, and everyone likes them.

Tunnel vision gets a bad rap, but I see it as a way to achieve my goals. If I can stay on track, my life will be productive, nourishing, and fun, and hopefully distract me from the political shit storm we all seek to weather this year. So happy tunneling, or whatever strategy you’ve chosen to make your new year shine!

My Experience at a Mayan Wedding (or, Why I Travel)

The Underground River

Steal Like an Artist: 10 Things Nobody Told You About Being Creative

First, to my chagrin I kept a lot of people waiting in 2016. So this year I resolve to:

Get there on time

Sounds easy, but there’s obviously something holding me back, and I think I’ve identified the sticky wicket. It’s a transition problem. Happily immersed in my own little world, I’m slow to shift gears. I’m in my zone and can always think of one more thing to do before I walk out the door.

So I’m throwing down the gauntlet. I can be retrained, I assure myself. I’ve got discipline and don’t want the world to wait on me any longer. If I can just get excited about the task ahead, it will be easier to transition. Before I need to leave, I’ll start thinking about where I’m going next and what I’ll do when I get there. As a bonus incentive, I’ll add a dot on the calendar when I’m on time and an X for when I’m late. I love keeping track of things!

Second, it’ll be easier to anticipate my next appointment if I seed my calendar with exciting activities so I resolve to:

Try new things

Bob and I love our routines. The other day he said we’ve settled into our dotage. But I keep hearing how it’s important to try new things, so this year I’ll schedule one out-of-the-ordinary activity per month. Again, I’ll keep track because last year I promised to try one new recipe a month and have no idea what they were!

Third, my friends are sick of hearing me grouse about finding time to write so I pledge to:

Write at least 300 words a day

I just finished reading Anne Lamott’s “Bird By Bird” her hilarious writing primer from 1994 and was inspired by her advice to write at least 300 words a day. On those days I don’t write anything, I can always get in bed and write in my journal. I’ll make a check on my calendar for each day I meet my goal.

I’ve already practicing, giving myself credit for things I wouldn’t have claimed before I started measuring my success. If I say I’m going to get to a party at a certain time and make it, I get to put a dot on the calendar even if no one is expecting me. If I write an exceptional email or a couple of pages in my journal, I get a check mark. The checks are proof that I’m a serious writer. The dots make me feel like the kind of person who gets there on time. And the X’s remind me I’ve got room for improvement.

Well, there you have it. Five hundred and thirty-one words and three goals to make 2017 my best year ever.

1. I co-authored a book, Two Brauds Abroad with long time correspondent Stephanie De La Garza about our travels to Africa and Costa Rica to be released this month
2. I assimilated Bob’s Swiss boarding school experience via five days in Lugano at the Seventies TASIS Reunion
3. I reintegrated into our relaxed little community in rural North Carolina without hiccup or blemish
4. I assumed the role of property manager at The Plant and accomplished what I set out to do
5. I lost that five pounds I picked up in Morocco

Peering straight ahead, here are my 2015 goals:

1. Support my father’s transition into his 89th year
2. Promote and sell my first book
3. Figure out where I am and what direction I’m headed in the woods behind our house with the help of compass and topographical map
4. Attract equines back into my life
5. Cook one new recipe a month
6. Exercise my singing voice

Let’s hear about your 2014 high points, low points, triumphs or notables and your 2015 wishes, goals and expectations.

Outside our office windows, Bob is filling the bird feeder for the first time since our return. They are getting a fresh, new start, too.

My inbox is full of links to cute blog posts about New Year’s Resolutions. My favorite is Wait But Why’s “200 Peoples New Years Resolutions” which included this gem:

I promise to stop farting in public–particularly at bars–then walking away swiftly before it is noticed, displacing the blame on strangers and creating awkward situations between them and their friends of significant others. I’ve been doing this since college. Something about just sneaking away and watching the looks on people’s faces from a distance. It gets me every time.

I was on the fence regarding the whole New Year’s Resolution thang, but after reading a few lists and conversations I decided to draft something up. One friend promised to take a specific amount of time for herself every day. My brother promises to do something fun every year. Last year he vowed to buy a banjo (and did) and this year he aspires to complete one or two finished watercolor paintings.

Here’s my list:

• Improve my Spanish
• Curb my Sweet Tooth
• Master my Sling Shot
• Focus my energies on those people and causes dearest to my heart, giving a lot to a few as opposed to a little to many

Regarding that last one, it might seem like a no-brainer but this is important because I tend to spread myself too thin. I reach out to acquaintances, get myself involved in a wide variety of commitments and later realize I don’t have as much time as I’d like for myself, Bob, my family and close friends.

Last year I took this cool personality test recommended by BJ and learned that I have a strong urge to be helpful. The Classic Enneagram test pegged me as a Reformer (Type 1) with a strong Helper wing. The description of helpers begins with “People of this personality type essentially feel that they are worthy insofar as they are helpful to others.” As BJ and I discussed our personality profiles, our behaviors really came into focus.

I was spending a significant portion of my time ‘helping’ people solve their problems. Unsolicited. Upon some introspection I found my motivation was less about altruism than I wanted to believe. I had to admit that I was also motivated by the need to prove myself.

I recognized a well-established pattern, brought into startling detail by the challenge of building a social capital account from scratch in Kumasi. Since I’ve moved close to 50 times in my life, I have highly developed social capital building skills. And my ace in the hole is helpfulness.

Yet here I am, back in the arms of my beloved community with no need to start from scratch. For the first time in twenty years, Bob and I returned to the place we left. I’ve been humbled, grateful and astounded to find myself rich in social capital. The energy we had put into this community was still sitting in the bank, just waiting for us!

No need to cast a wide net and see what comes to me. No need to earn my place in the community by trying to help everyone I come in contact with. I’ve already done that here. This year I will stand on the foundation we built and continue giving back to the people and causes that really matter. 2014 is going to be the best year ever!

If I could twinkle my nose and make it so, 2012 would be the year when humanity wakes up and becomes more humane. The war industry would come to a grinding halt, the rich would give to the poor, corporations would release their death grip on our economy and personal greed would evaporate like a bad dream.

The predictions being bandied about with family and friends are mixed between optimism, pessimism and political speculation. We discussed the danger of manifesting bad juju by casting dire predictions, but I decided to include both the positive and the negative as a matter of record.

2012  Predictions

Increased violence surrounding the Occupy Movement
The people will prevail and succeed in changing the balance of power
The United States will go to war with Iran
Things in Syria will get even messier before getting better
The world will not end when the Mayan calendar runs out, but rather there will be a new beginning
Barak Obama will choose Hillary Clinton as his running mate

2012 Resolutions

On a personal level, I have resolutions, my personal wish list for self-improvement. It’s been a few years since I pulled off a formal list but this year I feel inspired. Here’s what I’ve been chewing on:

Attitude
Find the joy, lose the beleaguered attitude
Generously give approval and support

Communication
Listen to what others are saying without thinking about what I want to say next
Think about what information others may need or want to know and make a point of informing them
Don’t share caustic and potentially offensive opinions

Health
More eating to live, less living to eat
Alleviate stress with activity rather than food
Drink more water
Drop five pounds by May 1st by simply avoiding snacks, sweets and second helpings

Time Management
Get there on time
Set a departure time that more than allows for last minute delays
Stop thinking I have time for just one more thing
Schedule time in my day for having fun

So there you have it. A mélange of hopes, fears, dreams and resolve to kick off a new beginning for 2012!

Today should be our last day in Camelina and tomorrow we’ll focus on sorting out everything at Trouts Farm. Thursday I’ll start cooking enough black-eyed peas, rice, greens and cornbread to feed fifty people and Friday, we’re hosting a New Year’s Day Hoppin’ John party.

So I have not given any thought to what hurdles I’d like to jump in 2010. Everything outside the current task at hand seems insurmountable.

But then Bob came across an amazing video and shared it with me.  After watching Danny MacAskill and his amazing bike acheive the inconceivable, I think I’ll be able to come up with at least one goal for the coming year.  Great name for a bicyclist, by the way – Mac Ass Kill!  If you’re needing inspiration for your own News Years Resolutions, here it is!