I don’t mind admitting that our recent move to Anytown, USA has me spooked. I woke to solid proof the other morning when I realized I had just dreamed about corpses two nights in a row.
In both dreams, I was circumstantially forced to look at the unburied dead. Although I did everything I could to avoid the cadavers, by the end of the dream I had no choice but to face them. It amazed me that the good people around me did not notice my revulsion. My protestations were ignored.
It’s hard to imagine that moving to an innocuous little town in this oh-so-safe country is enough to throw me off balance. Especially considering that I spent my childhood and most of my adult life on this soil. What could I possible be nervous about?
For starters, how about my own shopping lists, which refuse to die despite dozens of trips to the store. No matter how many bags I drag up the stairs to our apartment, there is always another thing to add to the list. To put it bluntly, I’m afraid of getting sucked into the culture of obscene wealth.
It also makes me nervous to consider living among the walking dead, where one third of the population is on “meds.” Think about this the next time you are barreling down the highway, squeezed between twin mothers in 6,000 pound vehicles as they struggle to balance their coffee cup and cell phone. It is no wonder I cannot ignore what my psyche is whispering to me while I sleep.
I am also a bit apprehensive about winter – 6 months of lifeless gardens. I’m not sure how this will feel after 8 years of endless summer. I’m anxious about having to amend my carefree, barefoot ways, especially as regards my responsibilities towards family.
These are all reasons enough to cause me nightmares. Now that I have acknowledged them, I’m going to do what I must to put them aside and function as a normal citizen. It would be socially irresponsible to do otherwise.