Bob had the inner tube from his front bike tire in the kitchen sink, looking for more holes when I was reminded of an idea I had years ago. He had just patched 4 tire punctures after riding the bike only 10 feet across a patch of weeds. As he made plans to re-tire our bikes, I remembered how this same weed had inspired in me another kind of retirement plan.
I’m talking about Goat Heads. Otherwise known as Tribulus terrestris, Puncture Vine, Mexican sandbur, Texas sandbur, Caltrop or Bull Head, Goat Heads are listed as the State Noxious Weed for 45 States. The Goat Head is so named because the seed breaks into four pieces, each resembling the head of a goat.
The horns are sturdy and sharp. After countless flat tires and punctured flip-flops, I began dreaming of the day when I would have idle hours each day to spend eradicating Goat Heads. While other retirees were languishing inside with their TVs, I would be dragging a burlap sack and filling it with Goat Heads.
That day may be here. The Goat Heads have gone to seed and I’m not working. Now where can I find myself a burlap sack?