Dear Nana,
Today is the 107th anniversary of your birth. For as long as I can remember, you’ve been part of my life. Thank you for all that you taught me while you were here. Thank you for thirty-five years of unconditional love. I think of you every day and often long for your counsel.
I love you for your sense of humor, for your extraordinary sense of justice and for your fantastic cooking. I have many memories of sitting around the table after dinner laughing at the world together and at ourselves. You were a passionate Democrat back in the day when that party championed social justice and you devoted many hours as president of the local organization.
Born in Poland, you came to the United States as a child to rejoin your family in New York City. At fifteen, you began working as a servant girl to an Irish family. You learned to speak English. At seventeen you married Frank Illo and began a family.
Your life was not without struggle. You made a bed for your baby in a hotel dresser drawer as you and grandpa toured with the Burlesque show. Your second child, a daughter died at an early age. Your oldest son lied about his age and joined the war. At one point, you were subjected to electric shock treatments for depression.
As a child, I knew nothing of your past. All I knew was that you baked the best chocolate chip cookies I have ever eaten. There was always a tin stocked with cookies in your kitchen. Your potato leek soup is legendary, as was your poppy seed cake. On Summer Sundays, your two sons and their wives and eight grandchildren would gather on your lawn with Grandpa and other relatives for fried chicken, potato salad, corn on the cob and chocolate cake.
Everything you made was perfectly prepared, meticulously shopped for and beautifully presented. I loved riding with you as you did your shopping. We’d stop at a farm with a beautiful Jersey cow for cream and butter, the butchers for sausages, the bakery for bread and the grocery store for produce. You gave me an aluminum colander and a Pyrex bowl from your kitchen to start my own. Thirty five years later, I still use them nearly every day.
There was always a dog named Susi in your home. When one would die, the next new female dog to enter your household was named Susi. You spoiled your dogs shamelessly, putting ice cubes in their water in the summer, setting down a bowl of warm coffee with half and half and honey on winter mornings, frying beef liver for their dinner and rubbing calamine lotion on their bug bites.
In return, the dogs babysat the grandkids, accompanying them through the woods and around the neighborhood. Before I could walk, you’d place me on a blanket to be watched over by a big, black dog named “Sissy.” I was Sissy’s little sister and took this to heart during my “dog phase.” For a spell I ran around on all fours, barking and growling while the other kids behaved like human beings.
When I was tiny, you loaded me into the laundry cart and wheeled me around as you cleaned house. I watched as you harvested tomatoes and chives from the garden. I listened to you sing your way through your day. As I grew older, you taught me to cook, shop for clothes and apply makeup. We had no secrets, you and I. You cared enough to involve yourself in my headlong rush though life and I trusted you completely.
When I was in my twenties, I returned east and lived with you. I remember drinking wine after dinner and dancing together in the living room. Your favorite song was “Those Were The Days.” We’d sing it at the top of our lungs and cry along to the words. And dance.
Love, Cookie
Those Were The Days – Lyrics
Once upon a time there was a tavern
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours
And dreamed of all the great things we would do
Those were the days my friend
We thought they’d never end
We’d sing and dance forever and a day
We’d live the life we choose
We’d fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la…
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
Then the busy years went rushing by us
We lost our starry notions on the way
If by chance I’d see you in the tavern
We’d smile at one another and we’d say
Those were the days my friend
We thought they’d never end
We’d sing and dance forever and a day
We’d live the life we choose
We’d fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la…
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
Just tonight I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely woman really me
Those were the days my friend
We thought they’d never end
We’d sing and dance forever and a day
We’d live the life we choose
We’d fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la…
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
Through the door there came familiar laughter
I saw your face and heard you call my name
Oh my friend we’re older but no wiser
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same
Those were the days my friend
We thought they’d never end
We’d sing and dance forever and a day
We’d live the life we choose
We’d fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la…
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
