Closet of Anxieties

Oh Lord

May you see fit to intervene on my behalf and restore order to this world.

Oh Lord, deliver me from my latest piece of writing for I tire of pushing words around.

Deliver me from the pain in my leg that keeps me from waking rested.

May you take away the persistent itch in the middle of my back and, if it is a larval parasite from Belize, may you cause it to burst through my skin and fledge.

Would that you could also heal my friends and neighbors who suffer from similar small maladies and depressions, and that you could (if you would) grant hope to the hopeless and restore short-term memory to the forgetful.

Oh powerful, all-knowing fixer, will you please rein in your human experiment or at least cause their weapons to disintegrate and their vitriol to dissolve behind their lips unuttered.

Please find a way to disable social media algorithms so that the non-believers will begin wearing masks. And while you’re in there Lord, can you muck up online shopping for a week or two to give the planet a rest?

Lord, please do what you can to put the brakes on Big Ag, Big Tech, Big Pharma (except in regards to the coronavirus vaccines), and Big Oil even if you must do it in the guise of a massive solar flare or meteorite. I can’t take much more war and planetary disruption Lord, and if you don’t mind my saying, your beloved humans have gone too far.

May you deliver us from the sixth extinction and restore Earth’s right to biodiversity. May you cause the bulldozers harm so that small pockets of animals might breathe and expand, so that the rains might resume in the deserts, the polar ice re-freeze, and the flooding recede, unless of course this is only the beginning of another great flood, in which case please carry on.

And Lord, if it’s not too much to ask, please remove my last eight months of hair growth as it is getting trapped in my armpits when I try to sleep.


By Camille Armantrout

Camille lives with her soul mate Bob in the back woods of central North Carolina where she hikes, gardens, cooks, and writes.

4 replies on “Oh Lord”

You are funny! I braid it most nights, which shortens it just enough to keep it out of places it does not belong.

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